Well Burger King of Isla Vista has apparently bit the dust. Long live the King. But now I'm left with the burning question of where I'm going to purchase my Simpsons talking watches. Guess I'll have to make a massive 5 mile trek to the its other Santa Barbara outpost. DOH. The other question that remains is what caused this burger mecca to choke smack dab in a ripe demographic of 18-25 something years olds jonesing for cheap eating. Lets throw out some theories here...
1. Isla Vista being 45-63% hippie, are vegetarians/vegan, and thus the community could not morally, ethically, and politically sustain a Burger King, even with the appeasment of the recombinant miracle that is the veggie Whopper.
2. Isla Vista being 50.000001% slacker student preppie (our economic base), are health food fanatics, ate at Silvergreens everyday this year, thus undercutting Burger Kings haf-!@# attempts to get their money with its shi-shi veggie Whopper.
3. Disgruntled employees killed the management.
4. The management of the franchise was really really really %#^(in stupid.
5. The veggie Whoppers gained sentience and killed everyone.
Who knows what actually happened (I'm guessing #4), there was just a little red sign about paycheck pickups on the door, and there was no splattered blood anywhere. The final question is what if anything will fill its empty carcass. How about another bar with the fast-food motiff intact. The 99 cent menu could have apple pucker shots. Built in deep fryer no additional cost. Liquid value meals with free plush toy for alchoholics. We can only pray that we get Jacked.
posted by Brent at 12/12/2002 06:05:00 PM | permalink |
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